It’s been a while since I wrote on here. Life can be such a busy place, but I really just forgot to sit and write about the good I see! Lots of good things have happened in my life since I last wrote– trips such as cruises and tours of far away places, even two of my daughters were married last summer! Good happens all around, and I find that I really do better in life when I notice the little things, not just the big! Don’t get me wrong! I love to travel and I love all of the big family times, but those are the times to cherish (Kodak pictures in your heart) during regular days where nothing big happens. Seeing the good during the mundane and cherishing the big is how I get through the painful times.
Today I got up, and as I let got my puppies out, I noticed some sunshine! I love the sun! Today is not a sunshine-y day, but some clouds moved and the sun came out! I was raised in the desert of Arizona, and then Anthony and I lived in Las Vegas for the first 13 years of our marriage. I think I took for granted the sunshine all those years! Almost every day was sunny, and that seemed boring to me. I loved it when it rained, and I didn’t really ever see big, smooshy clouds. I remember as a child looking at a cloudless desert sky after watching Winnie the Pooh, and trying to make cloud animals out of the jet streams (the white lines behind jets) I would see! Too many snakes! (He! He!) Now that I live in Idaho I am obsessed with sunny days!
I think we all need to notice the good in life because of how hard it can get! I am like any other person, and have had sickness, tragedy and loss. Speaking of a personal tragedy, I suddenly lost a puppy to sickness a month ago. She was 12 years old, but always so healthy and happy. Some people don’t understand and think , “It’s just a dog!” Those people don’t understand. I’ll try and explain my feelings on this. My dogs have always been my happy place, my babies and completely family! When Holly died I felt like I was in the dark and I couldn’t stop crying for three days! I looked to faith, but I saw nowhere in scriptures about animals. I prayed and prayed. I talked to my family and those who knew her and I came out doing better. I was in that dark place for three days, but after that I started to see the light. I realize now that I needed to mourn the loss. I still mourn her, but now I am able to see the time I had with her as a huge blessing, and not just get mad that it wasn’t longer. I know dogs don’t live long enough! I have had lots of conversations discussing how I will enjoy and love no matter how long they live– people or animals! I just needed to get to a place in the mourning process where I could see more than the darkness of death. One day I was praying and I felt the Spirit touch my heart and I knew I’d see I’d see my Holly again. The sun eventually came out in my heart ! I had to have a little trial of faith before I could see the light through the darkness. I guess I will need a big place in Heaven so I can have my beloved animals! It wouldn’t be Heaven for me without my dogs and cat.
That was a tough time, but I am grateful for the good that came out of it! I have lost grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins– some not so long ago, but I have a strong testimony, a knowledge, that I will see them again! I know it! I understand mourning death, but I always knew I would see them again. I didn’t have such a knowledge about my fur babies until now. My Mom was just talking about a relative that wrote of having a near- death experience, and seeing her grandfather ride his beloved horse up to meet her. Heaven wouldn’t be Heaven without our loved ones- family or furry (or both)!
So, the big question is, how do we get out of the darkness, and bring sunshine into our lives, even during the cloudy times? I love the song, “My Favorite Things.” from the Sound of Music. I think its a good place to start. Start by thinking of your favorite things! I think of my husband, kids, dogs, flowers, sunshine, chocolate… anything that I like. Then I think of good things I have done and like to do. I look for all the good right in front of me. I see my husband, my house, my dogs, appliances, my warm bed. I see smiling people. I find gratitude to be very effective. I see my dogs follow me around and I pat them. I pull my laundry out of the dryer, all warm and wrinkle free, and am grateful to have such a thing. I turn on music or a favorite movie, I read a good book, or take a walk. If nothing works, then prayer is always the right thing to do. Sitting in the dark crying has to end for sunshine to come out. You have to open the curtains and let it in!
I have to add that if the darkness doesn’t leave after a time, then it’s probably a good idea to seek help. There is no shame in getting help from professionals! Between my issues with MS, raising three daughters and getting a husband through nurse practitioner school through all of the hard life stuff, I know about medical professionals. That’s what they are there for! You are not alone! I say that to myself a lot. I remember my last conversation with my cousin Sherry, who died of brain cancer. She said, “You don’t have to do it alone. You have help. You always have the Holy Ghost to help.” I have to add that you always have prayer and help from Heavenly Father! You are not alone!
So I’ve been dealing with an MS flare up and my neck hurts really bad. My husband just came in to see what I was doing, and he gave me a kiss. Both of those things are my favorites. If I focus on them, I feel better, and I see light. Even at cloudy days
So, as I sit here at the computer, the sun shines into our office. I swear it was just raining! It’s a sign! I hope that my thoughts can do some good. I’m so grateful for life and for those who influence it for good! I’m so grateful for all the suns that shine in my life!
Good 